DISCLAIMER: I don't own these characters. This is going to, of course, come as a huge shock to everyone, right? Random House has possession of the Trixie Belden name and series. I'm just stealing 'em cuz I love 'em dearly. Consider this a literary kidnapping.
AUTHOR NOTE: This is a VERY liberal translation of the real thing, Jim & Trixie 'shipper friendly for the most part, and only meant in fun. In the interest of time, I had to move some scenes around and, uh... play with some of the plot. But that always happens when you do something like this, right?
Without further ado:
THE MYSTERY OFF GLEN ROAD - THE MUSICAL
[scene 1- Two girls, Trixie Belden and Honey Wheeler, sitting in a small clubhouse. Both are dressed in "party" clothes.]
Honey: {gushing} Oh, Trixie! Can you believe it? Today's the day! Today, Tom and Celia are getting married!
Trixie: I know. And I'm just as excited as you are. Really. It's just... it's just...
Honey: Just what, Trixie?
AUTHOR NOTE: This is a VERY liberal translation of the real thing, Jim & Trixie 'shipper friendly for the most part, and only meant in fun. In the interest of time, I had to move some scenes around and, uh... play with some of the plot. But that always happens when you do something like this, right?
Without further ado:
THE MYSTERY OFF GLEN ROAD - THE MUSICAL
[scene 1- Two girls, Trixie Belden and Honey Wheeler, sitting in a small clubhouse. Both are dressed in "party" clothes.]
Honey: {gushing} Oh, Trixie! Can you believe it? Today's the day! Today, Tom and Celia are getting married!
Trixie: I know. And I'm just as excited as you are. Really. It's just... it's just...
Honey: Just what, Trixie?
Trixie:
Honey!
I have no gift.
Something nice just from me.
And I've only got one dime.
Honey:
Trixie!
Don't be so silly!
They don't expect a thing!
And your parents bought those chairs.
Trixie:
I just can't believe the wedding is finally here.
Honey:
It's the day we've waited for.
Trixie:
Tom and Celia will be married upon this day!
Honey:
Happily forever more!
Oh, Trixie!
We'd better hurry!
The wedding's starting soon.
And we don't want to be late!
Trixie:
Honey!
What about my gift?
How about toothpicks, then?
Do you think they'd use them much?
The scene cuts to the Wheeler grounds, where the wedding breakfast is in final preparations.
Cook:
I can't believe the wedding is finally here.
Miss Trask:
It's the day we've waited for!
Cook:
Tom and Celia will be married upon this day!
Miss Trask:
Happily forever more!
Cook:
The flowers are so very pretty, aren't they?
Miss Trask:
And the breakfast smells so divine!
Cook:
The day has arrived at long last; it's here!
The Wheeler staff and caterers:
Tom and Celia, much love from all of us!
We're so thrilled for the two of you!
Best wishes for a long marriage! Ooooh.
Honey and Trixie have arrived from the clubhouse.
Trixie:
Oh, Honey!
Look; it's so lovely!
And they're about to start.
Celia's such a beautiful bride.
Honey:
Trixie!
Let's get to our seats!
The wedding's finally here!
Hurray! It's finally here!
Celia and Tom are now standing before the minister.
Celia:
My Tom;
I'm so happy!
The wedding is finally here!
Oh, joy, it's finally here!
Tom:
Celia!
Baby, I love you!
The wedding is finally here!
All:
Hurray! It's finally here!
Honey: {grabbing Trixie's arm} This is so exciting!
Trixie nods, then gasps.
Trixie: {wailing} Honey! What about the toothpicks?
[end scene 1]
[scene 2 - The wedding guests are waving to a car as it drives off. There is a storm approaching and thunder and lightning fill the sky.]
Trixie: Are they really going hunting for their honeymoon?
Honey: That's what Tom claims.
Trixie: Ewww.
Jim: {hurrying up with Mart and Brian} Honey! Trixie! Have you seen Regan recently? I think he's ready to actually commit murder!
Honey: Oh, no! What now?
Jim: It's that Fleagle character! He's a miserable gamekeeper! Even you two could do a better job than he does!
Trixie: {slightly sarcastic} Well, gee, thanks, Jim.
Jim: {oblivious} Something has to be done! I'm really afraid Regan might even quit if this goes on too long.
There's another loud crack of thunder.
Jim: Uh, oh. You girls better run inside now while you can.
Up walks an astoundingly handsome red haired man who is not Jim. He stops and places his big freckled hands on his hips.
Honey: Oh, Regan! Please, please say you're not going to quit!
Regan: {staring blankly} I don't recall typing up my resignation.
Trixie: Not even because of Fleagle?
Regan: {sighing} His Royal Highness Fleagle. I mean your father no disrespect, Honey, Jim, but why he hired that lame excuse for a gamekeeper is beyond me! Why, even you girls could do a better job than he does!
Trixie: {glaring} Gee, thanks to you, too, Regan.
Regan: {as oblivious as Jim} It's neither here nor there, anymore. I asked him to help me get ready for the storm and he quit. Besides, right now, I'm just worried about Tom and Celia's trailer. Chances are good that the electric and phone wires will be down tonight and everything those kids own - their nice wedding presents and all - could be nothing but a heap of ashes if a crackling live wire gets to lashing around in the woods.
Trixie: We can't let that happen to Celia and Tom!
Regan: That we can't. So the boys and I are going to clear a path to the trailer and tote everything we can back to the big house.
Honey: We'd like to help, too. Trixie and I -
Regan: {firmly} No can do. This is going to be one bad storm. You girls had better go home.
The two girls wander reluctantly off. Honey returns to the Manor House and Trixie heads for Crabapple Farm. Brian, Mart and Jim help Regan carry the newlyweds' belongings up to the big house.
Mart: What time are you supposed to pick up your car tomorrow?
Brian: {peering at threatening sky} Gosh, at this point, I don't know! I wonder if the roads will even be passable.
Regan: {standing with his big freckled hands on his hips} Your car? Do you have a car?
Brian: I'm buying one. From Mr. Lytell. I've been saving my money and now I've got the fifty dollars I need.
Regan: {shuddering and putting his big freckled hands on his hips} Why do you want a car? Give me a horse any day!
Jim: Sometimes cars do come in handy, you know.
Mart: We could go to town whenever we wanted.
Brian: I could run to the store for Moms.
Jim: You could teach me how to drive.
Brian: Only imagine! Imagine what I could do with my very own car!
Brian:
This time tomorrow,
I'll be behind
The wheel of my new car.
There'll be no stopping me now, oh, no!
Yes, I could go so, so far!
Imagine!
What I could do now.
Imagine!
It is me in my car!
Imagine!
Imagine it, oh, oh!
Oo-ee-oo, I am buying a jalopy!
Oh, oh! I am getting a new car!
This time tomorrow, the road's ahead of me!
Watch me; I'll go far!
Jim:
Yes, we're excited!
This is so great but
Don't forget all about us.
You're going to teach me.
I need a license.
I want to drive that car!
Yes, my friend, I will need a license.
I want to drive that car!
Brian:
Imagine!
What I could do now.
Imagine!
It is me in my car!
Imagine!
Imagine it, oh, ooh!
Oo-ee-oo, I am buying a jalopy!
Oh, oh! I am getting a new car!
This time tomorrow, the road's ahead of me!
Watch me; I'll go far!
Watch me; I'll go far!
Mart:
Hey, big bro, now what about me?
Don't say you'll be leaving me behind here.
I want to be there, too, when you go for your first ride oh, oh.
Regan:
A new car? Thank you, no!
I tell you, there's a better way to go.
Jim:
Don't you forget, don't you forget, don't you forget me.
Just a little longer and I'll be seventeen.
I will want to drive.
Yes, I want to drive. I want to drive.
Brian:
Oo-ee-oo, I am buying a jalopy!
Oh, oh! I am getting a new car!
This time tomorrow, the road's ahead of me!
Watch me; I'll go far!
Watch me; I'll go far!
Watch me; I'll go far!
Watch me; I'll go far!
[end, scene 2]
[Scene 3 - Next morning at the Clubhouse. There's substantial damage to the building from the storm. The Bob-Whites are discussing what to do.]
Mart: This is all Trixie's fault. She's a witch. She predicted this yesterday, you know.
Brian: There's no sense trying to blame Mother Nature's wrath on our sister.
Jim: We'll have to do the repairs, but fast! Another storm and the clubhouse will be nothing but a pile of sticks!
Honey: Well, at least the clubhouse prevented that Blue Spruce from being completely uprooted.
Trixie: {a little sarcastically} Yes. It's great how the clubhouse was there to break the tree's fall.
Honey: Well, I'm sure Daddy will be so glad the tree isn't a total loss, he'll loan us the money we need to rebuild our clubhouse!
Brian: No, Honey. You know our rules. We can't take money. We have to earn it.
Jim: Boy! Here I have all this money I inherited and I can't get a single dime of it until Dad and Mom get back from Florida!
Honey: Well, if I can't borrow money from Daddy, then you can't take it from your trust fund either, brother dear!
Brian: Look. We only have one option here. We think it will cost about fifty dollars to repair the clubhouse. I happen to have fifty dollars that I earned myself. The solution to this mess is obvious.
Trixie: Brian! No! We can't use your car money!
Brian: I don't think we have a choice.
Trixie: Sure we do! I have an idea! We could be gamekeepers!
There is a long pause. Jim reaches out and tugs on one of Trixie curls.
Jim: I'm going to have a great big scarlet ribbon made for you and on it, printed in gold, will be: 'Miss Nonsense of America.'
Trixie: {shooting Jim a dark look} I'm serious! Why, you even said it yourself, Jim. Honey and I could do a better job than that Fleagle! And since Fleagle quit, your family just happens to be in need of a new gamekeeper. What if we take the job until someone new is hired? I bet we could earn the fifty dollars!
Mart: Aren't you forgetting something? Aside from all the work we have to do here, and the work patrolling the preserve would be, and the fact that we do have school, we still couldn't earn the money in time. Brian was supposed to pay for the car today or Mr. Lytell was selling it to a used car dealer.
Brian: Thanks, Trixie. I know you're trying to help, but Mart is right. There's just no way to earn the money in time. I'm going to go home right now and call up the lumber store and order the supplies we need.
The Bob-Whites break up, the boys going off toward Crabapple Farm and the girls heading for the Manor House. Trixie has a sudden idea.
Trixie: Honey! Do you think you could convince Regan and Miss Trask to hire us as gamekeepers?
Honey: Why, Trixie? You heard Mart and Brian. It still wouldn't do us any good.
Trixie: Do you remember that ring Jim gave me after we found him in the Miser's Mansion? His aunt's engagement ring?
Honey: {used to Trixie jumping around in subjects; barely misses a beat at this abrupt change} Oh, Trixie! Please don't tell me you want to sell your ring!
Trixie: I'd sell it in a snap. What do I need with a silly old ring? But Dad would never let me. No, here's my plan. I give the ring to Mr. Lytell as security. He keeps it for a week and doesn't sell his car to the dealer. Meanwhile, you and I work patrolling the preserve and we earn the fifty dollars needed to pay for Brian's car!
Honey: {thinks for a moment then smiles} Trixie! That's a perfectly perfect idea. You go get the ring and I'll go talk to Regan about hiring us.
Trixie: Okay. Well, I can't just, 'go get the ring'. Dad was afraid I'd lose it, so it's in our safe deposit box at the bank.
Honey: Oh, no! How are we going to get it, then? I mean, if you were any other girl, it wouldn't seem so odd for you to ask if you could have the ring to wear for a few days. After all, we have our big party coming up when my cousin Ben visits and your family has your annual Thanksgiving Open House, but this is you! He'll never believe it!
Trixie: We have to think of a way to convince him.
Honey: Well. Let's see. What would make you suddenly want to dress up when you've never wanted to before? Oh! I know! Ben!
Trixie: {making a face} Ben? Ben? What has he got to do with anything?
Honey: {giggling} We're going to make everyone think you've got a yen for Ben!
Trixie: WHAT???
Honey: It'll work! Trust me. Now here's what you need to do.
The girls wander off, whispering. The scene changes to later that night. Trixie is sitting at the dining table at Crabapple Farm, dressed in a pretty gown and moaning things like, 'Ben! Oh, Ben! How will I ever make it until this weekend when you get here!'
Mart: That's it. She's completely lost it.
Brian: Trixie? What's this about Ben?
Trixie ignores Mart and Brian. She looks to her father.
Trixie: Daddy? Please, please may I have my ring? Just for the week? She holds out one hand. A girl has got to look her best sometimes!
Peter Belden: {clearly skeptical} All right, Trixie. It is your ring, after all. I'll bring it home tomorrow.
Trixie has to look down to hide her triumphant smile.
[end scene 3]
[scene 4 - The girls are at Mr. Lytell's little country store that never seems to stock enough Strawberry Pop, to give him the ring.]
Trixie: So you see, Mr. Lytell, if you'll just keep my ring for this week and give us time to earn the money, we'll come back and buy your car. Please? Please say you'll do it!
Mr. Lytell: {studying the ring} Trixie Belden! This ring is worth at least two hundred dollars! Where did you get it?
Trixie: Jim gave it to me, on account that we helped him so much when he first ran away.
Mr. Lytell gives her a disbelieving look.
Mr. Lytell:
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Where did you get this thing?
Two hundred dollars!
You don't have that kind of money!
Trixie:
Mr. Lytell, please.
It's all right.
It is mine.
It's from Jim.
He gave it to me last summer.
I just need you to hold it now.
Use it for security.
Hold the car and keep the key.
We're coming back.
With all the money you need.
It's all right.
It is mine.
It's from Jim.
He gave it to me last summer.
Mr. Lytell:
That's really hard to believe.
Jim gave it to you, you claim.
Why would he do something like that?
It's preposterous!
Trixie:
I know you don't like me much!
Mr. Lytell:
I don't know.
I'm not sure,
this is right.
This might be a huge mistake.
Trixie:
Please. Please, stop and consider it.
How awful could it really be?
Take the chance and oh, help me, please!
He really deserves this car.
Not his fault the storm blew in.
Just one more week, can't you wait til then?
It's not that long.
Please just do this for him.
It's all right.
It is mine.
It's from Jim.
He gave it to me last summer.
Mr. Lytell
I don't know.
I'm not sure.
This might be a great big mistake.
Trixie:
It's all right.
It is mine.
A gift from Jim last summer!
It's all right.
It is mine.
A gift from Jim last summer!
Mr. Lytell: All right, Trixie. I'll do it. You're too harum-scarum in my opinion, but Miss Trask happens to think a lot of you and I happen to think a lot of Miss Trask.
Trixie: Oh, thank you, Mr. Lytell! Thank you!
The girls leave Mr. Lytell's store. On their way back through the preserve to the Manor House, Trixie spots footprints on the ground.
Trixie: Oh, Honey! Look at those footprints! They don't belong to any of the boys! They haven't been out this way since they've been so busy repairing the clubhouse!
Honey: Well, maybe Mr. Lytell came through here?
Trixie: {shaking head} Mr. Lytell never walks anywhere! He always, always rides old Belle!
Honey: Do you think someone was trespassing?
Trixie: {wide -eyed and horrified} Worse! I'll bet we have a... a... a poacher!!!
[end scene 4]
[scene 5 - Approaching the Clubhouse. The boys are doing repair work. The girls have decided to keep mum about the poacher evidence, as well as their scheme with the ring. Honey rides ahead to tell them that the girls are planning to be gamekeepers anyway, because Regan and Miss Trask haven't found a replacement yet and the club could use the money. Trixie hangs back and watches.]
Trixie:
Look at them, working so hard
And Brian thinks he won't get his car.
I fixed that and he doesn't know.
Just can't wait to tell him, it is still a go.
And won't he be, oh, so surprised
To find out he really will get his ride.
Mart, too, no, he won't believe it is so.
But it's Jim I wonder about most, you know, 'cause
He's the one I'm thinking about
All throughout the day.
He's such
A supple boy,
Oh, handsome and strong,
My heart goes right straight to him.
I bet he could fix that roof and wall too,
Brian and Mart would have nothing to do.
Jim knows everything there is to know.
He's so smart and it really shows.
I can't help it; I like him a lot.
He's got something no other boy's got!
Oh, he's Jim Frayne, and he's so fine.
I think of him all the time.
He's the one I'm thinking about
All throughout the day.
He's such
A supple boy,
Oh, handsome and strong,
My heart goes right straight to him.
Sometimes I worry about what he thinks.
What's he mean, I'm "Miss Nonsense"?
Does he like me, I just don't know.
I'm not so pretty; I'm well, so-so.
I wish I was as graceful as Di
Then maybe I'd finally catch his eye.
Or as sweet and kind as Honey,
Then I'm sure he'd really notice me.
What can I do; should I try some more?
I want to be the girl that he adores.
I want him to look right over at me,
And say, "Hey,
I like you, Trixie!"
He's the one I'm thinking about
All throughout the day.
He's such
A supple boy,
Oh, handsome and strong,
My heart goes right straight to him.
My heart goes right straight to him.
[end scene 5]
[scene 6 - Next day; The Manor House Stable. The girls are getting ready to patrol. The boys are watching - not helping.]
Jim: And remember! Whatever you do, stay on the bridle paths! We don't want you getting lost!
Brian: And make sure you're home well before sunset.
Mart: And don't try to fix anything yourselves! If you run into any problems, come tell us!
Trixie and Honey ride out into the preserve.
Trixie: Do you ever get tired of being treated like - like a GIRL, Honey?
Honey: Being a girl, I don't know how else I should be treated.
Trixie: {mimicking Mart} And don't try to fix anything yourselves! Why is it they think we're so completely helpless? I can't believe Jim had the nerve to tell us not to get lost!
Honey: He actually said he didn't want us to get lost.
Trixie waves a hand dismissively.
Honey: Well, it isn't quite the same thing.
Trixie:
What makes them think we can't handle this?
We're just as smart as those boys are!
I know that we can handle this!
Please don't say, "You shouldn't stray too far."
I hate that they think
we'll fall flat on our faces.
We won't. Oh, no.
I am sure we can handle this.
We just need a chance,
We just need a....
Honey:
We can handle this.
Oh, I know that we can handle this.
I know that we can handle this.
We just need a chance.
We just need a...
Trixie:
We can do anything they can!
We can do anything they can!
We'll have to prove it.
Honey:
We can do anything they can!
We can do anything they can!
We'll have to prove it.
Back in the stable
Jim:
Do you think that they'll be all right tonight?
Running around all alone?
Without us to help and guide them,
Will they even find their way home?
Brian:
I know it's so hard not to worry.
Whenever you think of those two,
But we've got our own hands full.
We've got an awful lot of work left to do.
Mart:
But these are our sisters,
We know what they can do.
They'll find a new mystery out there.
And run off searching for clues!
Jim:
As long as the planets are turning,
as long as the stars are burning
They'll dig up a mystery, you know it; you'd better believe it!
Cut to Trixie and Honey
Trixie:
Oh, I know that we can handle this.
We're just as smart as those boys are.
Honey:
I know that we can handle this.
We'll patrol these woods both near and far.
Trixie:
I just hate that they think
we'll fall flat on our faces.
We won't. Oh, no.
I know that we can handle this.
Yes, I know that we can handle this.
I know that we can handle this
We just need a chance.
We just need a-
Honey:
We can do anything they can.
We can do anything they can.
We'll have to prove it.
Trixie:
We can do anything they can.
We can do anything they can.
We'll have to prove it.
Honey:
We can do anything they can.
We can do anything they can.
We'll have to prove it.
Both girls:
Ahh.
Ahhh.
Ahhh.
Ahhh.
Ahhh.
Ahhh.
Ahhh.
Ahhh.
Ahhh.
Ahhh.
Ahhh.
Ahhh.
Ahhh.
We can do anything they can.
We can do anything they can.
We'll have to prove it!
We can do anything they can.
We can do anything they can,
We'll have to prove it!
Trixie:
There's Jim with his cautions and warnings,
Lecturing us left and right.
Mart thinks we're stupid and lamebrained.
And can't find our way home from patrolling at night.
Regan just stands there and scowls at us
His big freckled hands on his hips.
As if we would purposely hurt or maim
Any of these precious horses of his!
Honey:
And then there is Brian.
He's the nicest of them all.
But I can tell even he thinks
We're about to take the fall.
They think we are helpless and careless;
They think we haven't got the slightest clue,
They think that we'll fail miserably, don't they?
I just know that they do!
Trixie:
Oh, I know that we can handle this.
We're just as smart as those boys are.
Honey:
I know that we can handle this.
We'll patrol these woods both near and far.
Trixie:
I just hate that they think
we'll fall flat on our faces.
We won't. Oh, no.
I know that we can handle this.
Yes, I know that we can handle this.
I know that we can handle this
We just need a chance.
We just need a-
Honey:
We can do anything they can.
We can do anything they can.
We'll have to prove it.
Trixie:
We can do anything they can.
We can do anything they can.
We'll have to prove it.
Both:
We can do anything they can.
We can do anything they can.
We'll have to prove it.
We can do anything they can.
We can do anything they can.
We'll have to prove it.
Trixie:
Oh, Honey we'll have to work hard
to make this turn out right.
We will.
But I know that we can handle this.
I know that we can handle this.
I know that we can handle this.
Honey:
We'll have to prove it.
Trixie:
We'll have to prove it.
The girls find Reddy and Patch with a dead deer.
Honey: {with tears in her eyes} Oh, no! Trixie! What do we do? As soon as Daddy finds out what the dogs have done, he'll insist we have them put down!
Trixie: {frowning} Honey, the dogs didn't do this! Look! This deer was killed with a longbow!
Honey gasps. It's getting dark out and shadows are stretching across the path. Trixie glances around apprehensively.
Trixie: This is it, Honey. Now we have proof. There is a poacher! We'd better scram before he comes back for this and catches us here!
The girls hurry off; the dogs tear away in the opposite direction.
Reddy: Woof! Woof!
Patch: {quite indignant} Bark! Bark, bark, bark, bark!
Reddy: {nodding sympathetically} Woof!
[end scene 6]
[scene 7 - The Manor House. Ben Riker, Honey's cousin, has arrived for a visit. Ben totally ignores Trixie in favor of Diana Lynch, and Di, knowing her all important role in every Bob-White adventure, distracts Ben with hillbilly records. Honey takes Trixie up to her room.]
Trixie: What's up? We need to get back to patrolling! We have to catch the poacher and prove we're worth the fifty dollars we want to be paid!
Honey: I know. But I just thought of something. You convinced your father to let you have your ring, so you could wear it around and impress Ben. Well, now Ben's here and you aren't wearing your ring.
Trixie: {groaning and clutching her curls} Which I can't wear, because I don't have it!
Honey: Exactly. But that's all right. I've got a cheap little costume jewelry ring you can wear. Just don't let anyone look too closely at it, or they'll realize it's not the real thing!
Honey gives Trixie her ring, then the girls go back to the stable, saddle up and head out into the woods. Not too much time passes before they arrive back in the clearing where they'd found the deer. The deer is gone now. Strange, single wheeled tracks lead off into the forest.
Trixie: This doesn't make sense. What only has one wheel?
Honey: A unicycle. Though I've never seen one outside of a circus before. Who would be riding a unicycle through the woods?
Trixie: {wide-eyed} And who would use a unicycle to move a deer carcass?
Trixie:
Oh, Honey! We've got a problem, I fear!
Someone else has killed this deer!
Someone who shouldn't be here!
Honey:
Gosh, Trixie! I really just don't see,
how this could possibly be!
This is terrifying me!
Trixie:
Don't look now; there's a poacher running amok!
A unicycle riding loony man!
Hey, do you see him? He could be watching us!
Honey:
Oh, Trixie! What are we going to do?
I'm so scared; I know you are, too!
And the boys will say it's untrue!
Untrue!
Trixie:
Don't look now; there's a poacher running amok!
A unicycle riding loony man!
Hey, do you see him? He could be watching us!
On a unicycle.
On a unicycle!
Crazy loony man!
Honey:
Whatever is his plan?
We've got to stop him!
Trixie:
Don't look now; there's a poacher running amok!
A unicycle riding loony man!
Hey, do you see him? He could be watching us!
Both:
Don't look now; but there's a poacher running amok!
A unicycle riding loony man!
Hey, do you see him? He could be watching us!
Don't look now; but there's a poacher running amok!
A unicycle riding loony man!
Hey, do you see him? He could be watching us!
Crazy loony man.
Crazy loony man.
Frightened by their discovery, the girls manage to get lost. They don't arrive back at the stable until well past check-in time. The boys and Regan are waiting for them.
Jim: Where were you? We were about to send out the posse!
Regan: {standing with his big freckled hands on his hips} You shouldn't keep the horses out this late!
Mart: Where were they? Well, it's obvious, isn't it? They were hopelessly lost!
Trixie is too worried about the unicycling poacher to respond. Honey, knowing that her friend's reticence and frown will only attract more comment, jumps in with the first thing she can think of.
Honey: Oh, leave us alone! Can't you see Trixie is upset? Ben hasn't said one word to her all night. He's only interested in Di!
Long pause.
Jim: So that's what this is about, huh? He stalks out of the stable.
Regan: {puzzled} What's Ben got to do with keeping my horses out too late?
[end scene 7]
[scene 8 - Next day. Trixie has to baby-sit Bobby, but she really wants to get back to work patrolling. She decides to hand Bobby off to Regan, since it's his afternoon off and he never goes anywhere anyway.]
Trixie: {grabbing Bobby's hand} Come on, Bobby. You're going to spend the afternoon up at the Manor House.
Bobby: Hey! Watcha think ya doing? You hurted me, badly!
Trixie: I didn't either. But I am in a hurry. Come on. She scoops up the little fire engine Bobby was playing with. You can play with this up there just as well as you can down here.
Bobby: {yelling loud enough to wake the dead} CAN'T! All my fireman are down here.
Trixie: {impatiently} Well, bring the fireman along, too. Not that I see any.
Bobby starts gathering up some scattered clothespins.
Bobby:
I'm a Bobby Boy
This is Bobby World.
Do it my way; or I'll make you pay!
You won't see me cowed!
I'll just scream out loud!
I'm sure you can see; it's all about me!
Trixie:
Come on, Bobby; let's get going!
Bobby:
I'm a Bobby Boy
This is Bobby World
Do it my way; or I'll make you pay!
You won't see me cowed!
I'll just scream out loud!
I'm sure you can see; it's all about me!
You can't rush me, Trixie, 'cause I'll just tell on you!
Let me go! Stop pulling! You'll be sorry!
Trixie:
Bobby, please. I'm so late! Regan will play with you!
Pick it up! Move along! Move those feet now!
Bobby:
Forget it! Let me go!
I'll tell Moms on you, you know! Oooeee!
I'm a Bobby Boy
This is Bobby World
Do it my way; or I'll make you pay!
You won't see me cowed!
I'll just scream out loud!
I'm sure you can see; it's all about me!
Trixie:
Come on, Bobby; let's get going! Please, please, please, please.
Come on, Bobby; let's get going! Can't we? Can't we?
Come on, Bobby; let's get going! Please, please, please, please.
Come on, Bobby; let's get going! Can't we? Can't we?
Bobby:
You slow down! Not so fast! Don't care how late you are!
If I fall down right now; skin my bare knees,
I'll blame you. So will Moms. You will get in trouble.
All your fault. You know it. Stop running now!
You're so mean! You hurt me!
I'll have a bruise; just wait and see!
Trixie:
Come on, Bobby; let's get going! Please, please, please, please.
Come on, Bobby; let's get going! Can't we? Can't we?
Come on, Bobby; let's get going! Please, please, please, please.
Come on, Bobby; let's get going! Can't we? Can't we?
They approach the stable and Regan walks out. He stops and puts his big freckled hands on his hips.
Bobby:
I'm a Bobby Boy
This is Bobby World
Do it my way; or I'll make you pay!
You won't see me cowed!
I'll just scream out loud!
I'm sure you can see; it's all about me!
I'm a Bobby Boy
This is Bobby World
Do it my way; or I'll make you pay!
You won't see me cowed!
I'll just scream out loud!
I'm sure you can see; it's all about me!
Trixie:
Regan, help me! You take Bobby! Oh gosh, help me!
Regan, help me! You take Bobby! Please, please?
Regan, help me! You take Bobby! Oh gosh, help me!
Regan, help me! You take Bobby! Please, please?
Bobby:
I'm a Bobby Boy. This is Bobby World.
I'm a Bobby Boy. This is Bobby World!
Trixie: Regan, PLEASE!
Bobby: I wanna play fireman, and I wanna play NOW!
Regan: {agreeable even in the face of The Holy Terror} Okay, Bobby. I'll tell you what. I've got a whole box of crinkly red tissue paper in my apartment. It will make a great fire, huh?
Trixie: {perplexed} Uh... you do?
Trixie leaves Bobby with Regan and she and Honey set out once again.
Trixie: Look. I borrowed Bobby's compass. Now we won't get lost and the boys can't make fun of us again.
Honey: Okay. Trixie, have you given any thought to what we're going to do next? I mean, how do we catch the Unicycling Poacher?
Trixie: First thing we need to do is pick up his trail. I say we go back to that clearing and follow those tracks.
Even with the compass, the girl's get lost. Instead of finding the clearing they were looking for, they wind up in a larger one. This one has a tidy log cabin with a small working vegetable garden.
Honey: I don't understand, Trixie! How can there be a cabin right here on Daddy's property?
Trixie: He's not just a poacher! Oh, Honey! You've got a squatter!
Honey: I don't know, Trixie. This seems awfully... permanent. Even for a squatter.
Trixie goes up and peers in a window, then walks around the cabin. She finds the deer suspended from a rack.
Trixie: This is it, Honey! Our final proof! We just have to lead Regan and the boys back to this cabin and we've caught the Unicycling Poacher!
Honey: Shhhh! Do you hear something?
Both girls stop and listen. Faintly, growing louder, there's the sound of a squeaking wheel approaching.
Trixie: {scared} Run! Run! It's him! It's the Unicycling Poacher!
They race back to their horses and ride off into the preserve. It's not until they're almost back to the Manor House that Trixie realizes she's lost Bobby's compass.
[end scene 8]
[scene 9 - Crabapple Farm. Bobby is wailing like a banshee because Trixie has lost his compass and now he can't go find the Squirrel Bird, an awful stuffed creature Ben Riker put together for Bobby to hunt.]
Mart: {dragging Trixie to the kitchen so that he can be heard} I'll tell you what, Sis. I can fix this. I can give Bobby my compass, but only on one condition.
Trixie: {holding her ears} What? What's the condition? Tell me!
Mart: You have to tell me the real reason you wanted your ring. I don't believe for a minute that you care one whit what Ben Riker thinks of you.
Trixie nods in agreement.
Mart: So it's a deal?
Trixie: Yes! Yes! Just, for the love of Pete, MAKE HIM STOP!
Mart leaves and only moments later, Bobby's ear shattering screeches cease. Mart comes back and perches on a kitchen chair, waiting expectantly. Trixie explains everything about the ring, the car, the Unicycling Poacher and the cabin in the woods.
Mart: You know, Toots, sometimes, you aren't nearly as lame brained as you let on! I can't believe you managed to fix it so Mr. Lytell didn't sell his car after all!
Trixie: {holding her head in her hands} Yeah. But if we don't catch this poacher, we won't be able to collect our paycheck on Saturday and this is all for naught!
Mart: Well, you aren't allowed to go anywhere for the rest of the day. Moms needs you to help getting ready for the Open House. But maybe Honey and I can ride out to the cabin? I'd like to see this for myself!
Mart leaves and Trixie busies herself with housework. Mart returns a few hours later to report that he and Honey can't find the cabin.
[end scene 9]
[scene 10 - The Annual Crabapple Farm Thanksgiving Open House. Mr. Lytell comes in. Trixie, seeing him, panics. She doesn't want him to question why she's wearing the fake ring when he has the real one. She yanks the ring off and dumps it in a brass bowl on a side table. Bobby, seeing this, sneaks up and snatches the ring.]
The Open House goes on for a few hours, with people coming and going. Mart, Honey and Trixie try to convene and discuss the Unicycling Poacher, but never get the chance. Finally, worn out, Trixie escapes to the terrace for a breather.
Ben Riker: Hey, Trixie? You have a minute? There's something you should know.
Trixie: {wearily} What, Ben?
Ben: Well, I don't want to alarm your mother, but I've been all over your house looking for Bobby so I could give him the Squirrel-Bird, and well, he's gone. He isn't here.
Trixie {frowning} Did you check under his bed? He likes to hide there.
Ben: I checked. I'm telling you; he's not anywhere in this house!
Trixie: Okay. Okay. Look; you're right. Let's not scare anyone just yet. We'll do a quick search around here first.
They look, but no Bobby. Trixie gathers the Bob-Whites to let them know.
Honey: Oh, no! It's so cold out! And what if he's in the woods, with YOU KNOW WHO?
Jim: {scowling} We know who? We do? Who? What are you talking about Honey?
Honey clasps a hand over her mouth.
Trixie: {reluctantly} There's a poacher out there. A crazy poacher. He rides around on a unicycle and collects dead deer and has a cabin smack in the middle of the preserve!
For a moment, no one speaks. Brian and Jim exchange a look.
Brian: Well, Sis. I think you've finally gone and cracked.
Trixie: I knew you'd say something like that! But this is for real! We saw the cabin! Honey and I both did! He's out there! The Unicycling Poacher is right now wheeling through the woods, looking for his next victim!
Jim: Uh, huh. Tell you what. Right now, why don't we worry about finding Bobby, then we'll deal with the Unicycling Poacher. Even if he's after another deer, I don't think he's a threat to Bobby.
Trixie: {distraught} What if Bobby sees him? What if he wants to silence Bobby for good?
Brian: Oh, for crying out loud! Let's just find Bobby!
Honey:
It's cold and it's dark. Bobby is lost.
Trixie:
Why is that little brat always running off this way?
Mart:
We will have to search hard and find him now.
Trixie:
That darn pest! Oooh!
All:
He's lost in the night! Oooh!
He's lost in the night! Oh, Oh!
He's lost in the night! Oooh!
He's lost in the night! Oh! Oh!
Brian:
We'll find him because we don't have a choice.
Di:
He's really quite cute. At least when he tries.
Trixie:
It's easy to say that; you've never heard him cry!
Mart:
Trixie, hey, admit it; you adore the boy.
Trixie:
He's a pest! Oh!
All:
He's lost in the night! Oooh!
He's lost in the night! Oh!
He's lost in the night! Oooh!
He's lost in the night! Oh!
He's lost in the night!
Brian:
We'll find him 'cause we don't have a choice.
Jim:
You take the Manor House and stable.
We boys will search by the lake.
And if you should find him, give us a whistle.
We'll hurry back.
All:
He's lost in the night! Oooh!
He's lost in the night! Oh! Oh!
He's lost in the night! Oooh!
He's lost in the night! Oh! Oh!
He's lost in the night!
He's lost in the night!
Trixie:
I just want to find him!
Please, oh please, oh please let him please, please be safe!
All:
He's lost in the night!
Trixie:
I just want to find him!
Please, oh please, oh please let him please, please be safe!
All:
He's lost in the night! Oooh!
He's lost in the night! Oh!
He's lost in the night! Oooh!
He's lost in the night! Oh! Oh!
He's lost in the night! Oooh!
He's lost in the night! Oh!
He's lost in the night! Oooh!
He's lost in the night! Oh! Oh!
[end scene 10]
[scene 11 Bobby is found in Tom and Celia's trailer. He confesses to stealing Trixie's ring and losing it. Trixie tells him not to worry about it. She explains to him about giving the real ring to Mr. Lytell, not knowing that Brian is standing behind her and listening.]
Brian: Gleeps, Trixie. I don't know whether to brain you or bless you! I had no idea you were doing all this!
Jim: {walking up with the others} Doing all what? What did she do?
Brian: I - I can't tell you. I'm all choked up right now.
Bobby: Trixie gived her ring to Mr. Lytell so he'd keep his car so Brian could buy it after Trixie and Honey made enough money as gamekeepers and then Honey gave Trixie a fake ring and I took it and losted it 'cause I was so mad 'cause she losted my compass!
Ben: Huh? What? What's this about rings?
Mart: Trixie used the diamond ring Jim gave her as security to convince Mr. Lytell to hold on to his car for one more week so that Brian could still buy it.
Ben: {looking at Jim} You gave Trixie a diamond ring? Are you nuts? Why'd you do something like that? I wouldn't even give her a ring on the telephone! Don't tell me you two are ENGAGED!
Trixie: {sniffing} If Jim were the last man on earth, I wouldn't marry him!
Jim gives Trixie a gentle push. She falls over into a snow bank and can't seem to get herself out of it. Every attempt to push herself up just sinks her deeper.
Jim: {to Ben} Do you think I'd get myself engaged to anybody as stupid as that?
Honey: Oh, stop it! Quit making fun of her! She's always the one who solves all our problems and you know it!
Honey helps Trixie up.
Honey: C'mon, Di! Let's we girls head up my house for some hot cocoa. We can let the boys take Bobby home!
The girls head off without another word. Laughing, Brian and Mart swing Bobby between them as they head down the path to Crabapple Farm, Brian saying he'll even take over Trixie's clean-up-after-the-Open-House-chores as thanks for what she's done. Ben, after a moment, shrugs and follows, leaving Jim to stare off after the disappearing girls.
Jim:
I know I said something that didn't seem nice.
I'm sorry, Trixie.
I didn't mean it at all; you're not so dumb.
Don't worry, Trixie.
I'll give you a ring.
Give you a ring.
Don't worry, Trixie. I'll give you a ring.
I'm so really glad, there's
No yen for Ben.
He's not your type.
If you'll just wait for awhile,
A few more years.
Don't worry, Trixie. I'll give you a ring.
We should be together; I know this is true.
We should be together; I know this is true.
I was only teasing.
While your
brothers were around.
Oooh oh.
Someday we could get married.
A few years from now.
We could be so happy, together I know.
Give you a ring.
Don't worry, Trixie. I'll give you a ring.
We should be together; I know this is true.
We should be together; I know this is true.
We should be together; I know this is true.
[end scene 11]
[scene 12 - Crabapple Farm, the next morning. Brian, Mart and Trixie are gathered in the kitchen.]
Brian: {hanging up the phone} Okay, it's all set. Honey and Jim will have the horses all ready for us. We just need to head on up there.
Trixie: Are you ready to tell me yet what's going on?
Brian: Nope.
Trixie: What about Di? Is she going?
Brian: No. Since there aren't enough horses to go around with Ben visiting, she's agreed to stay behind and entertain him.
They call up the stairs to their mother, then leave the house and walk quickly to the Manor House stable, where Honey and Jim are waiting.
Honey: Trixie? Do you have any idea what's going on? Jim won't tell me a thing!
Trixie: {shaking her head} I have no idea either! The boys are being very mysterious!
Brian: You solved a problem for me, Trix, and now I'm about to solve a problem for you! Let's go!
The Bob-Whites ride off into the preserve. To Honey and Trixie's amazement, Brian leads them all straight to the Unicycling Poacher's cabin!
Brian: {calling loudly} Mr. Maypenny! Are you home?
The door opens, and out steps an older man dressed in hunting boots, pants and a flannel shirt.
Mr. Maypenny: Why, hello, there Brian! How are you? You've brought me some visitors, I see! Wonderful! Wonderful! I've got a big pot of my famous Venison Hunter's Stew bubbling. Come in and have some, all of you!
Trixie: {staring} Brian? You KNOW the poacher?
Brian: {laughing} He's not a poacher, Trixie. This is Mr. Maypenny. He lives here in the same house he's lived in his entire life.
Honey: But I don't understand! This is Daddy's property.
Mr. Maypenny: No, missy, it is not! Your daddy tried to get me to sell, but I refused. This is MY pie shaped piece of land.
Honey: Right in the middle of our game preserve?
Mr. Maypenny: That's right.
Trixie: Then - then... oh. I guess we were on your land when we found the deer, huh?
Mr. Maypenny: {slightly quizzical} If you found the deer I killed for my stew, then yes, you were on my property.
Trixie: {still somewhat suspicious} Where's your unicycle?
Mr. Maypenny: My what?
Trixie: Your unicycle. The one you used to carry off the deer. We found your tracks.
Mr. Maypenny: {laughing} Young lady! I'm a man of many talents, but I don't suppose I'd be able to carry a dead deer and pedal my way through the woods on a one wheeled contraption!
Trixie: But we saw your tracks!
Mr. Maypenny walks around his house. A moment later, there is a loud squeaking noise. He comes back around the corner, pushing a beat up wheel barrow. Its single wheel is rather wobbly and definitely loud.
Mr. Maypenny: I use this to carry the animal carcasses. It's just easier.
Jim: See, Trix? No poacher. No unicycle. Just a brand new Wheeler employee!
Honey and Trixie together: What?
Jim: Miss Trask and Regan have convinced Mr. Maypenny to take over as gamekeeper. I'm afraid you girls have lost your jobs. Which is okay, though, because they agreed you've done a swell job this week and definitely earned exactly fifty dollars!
Brian: {grinning} And I already called Mr. Lytell. We'll be picking up my new jalopy tomorrow morning!
Honey: Oh! Oh! Trixie! We did it! Isn't this the most wonderful, perfect thing ever?
Trixie: I guess we did, huh? Yeah. We did! The clubhouse is fixed. Brian gets his car. The mystery of the Unicycling Poacher is solved and we don't have to patrol the preserve any more!
Honey: {hugging Trixie} I know I keep saying it, but I'm so glad my parents bought the Manor House and moved us here! I've never been so happy in my entire life!
Brian: Amen to that! I don't think there's any place better in the world to live than right here in Sleepyside!
Trixie:
A place.
Where ev'ryone wants to be.
We're happy and young and free.
We live in Sleepyside.
Honey:
A storm.
A wedding. A jalopy.
Trixie gave up her ring.
Brian still gets his car.
Mart:
Our clubhouse is fixed again.
Brian:
The roof is back. All intact.
Jim:
We have a new gamekeeper to take care of things.
Trixie:
We're so lucky!
Girls:
Sleepyside!
Sleepyside!
Boys:
We love it here.
Girls:
In Sleepyside!
Sleepyside!
Sleepyside!
Boys:
We love it here.
Girls:
In Sleepyside!
Sleepyside, you're the best place to be!
All:
We love you, Sleepyside!
Honey:
And now,
we've solved the mystery!
A baffling discovery;
the poacher wasn't real.
Trixie:
What's next?
Who knows what we may find?
The adventure of a lifetime!
We'll solve another crime!
Mart:
Our clubhouse is fixed again.
Brian:
The roof is back. All intact.
Jim:
We have a new gamekeeper to take care of things.
Trixie:
We're so lucky!
Girls:
Sleepyside!
Sleepyside!
Boys:
We love it here.
Girls:
In Sleepyside!
Sleepyside!
Sleepyside!
Boys:
We love it here.
Girls:
In Sleepyside!
All:
We love it here.
That much is clear.
In Sleepyside.
We love it here.
That much is clear.
In Sleepysiiiide!
Sleepysiiiiiiide!
Yes, this is the end!